Orbular

Hmmm. Red and white. Circles and strips. This picture really smells of Christmas if we take off some redundant words like the big one down the lower right corner that reads "Orbular". Calls back all the fucking awful memories.

Orbtacular Badge (hard – 30 points)
Reach level 15 in normal mode.




Easter egg of the weirdo.

No Orb Left Behind Badge (impossible – 60 points)
Reach level 15 in endurance mode.

Hey, how about beating this crap the hard way? No joking, that's how I earned the badge. Though a technique I later developed - which is especially useful against the _root.values anti-cheat countermeasures - can be used for this dirty fuckjob. It's all inside the following video, guess I am being your Santa Claus today:



[How to Kongregate] Orbular Walkthrough - Hacking Kongregate Badges Using Flash Katana 1.9

(Original video is here if you desire better resolution.)

This is probably the most powerful way existing at this moment to hack any Flash game on Kongregate, given that you know of the names of the variables you would like to hack. However, a Firefox extension in development called Muspell sounds like having even greater potential by condensing all the steps inside the video into a tiny browser addon, though when I tried to download the beta release, it has kinda disappeared or been taken off for the time being. Hopefully we will be able to learn more about this promising Muspell from NightEternal soon.

Rating



It's not really the problem of the game, but whomever created that badge having too much shit inside the head.

(Read into the full article...)

Forum (2)

Something apparently went wrong with the ByetHost free space I registered for the Forum which has now gone - they've canceled my account for reasons unknown. Perhaps they stated they do not want to see their service being used for forums inside their Terms of Service, some fucking thing I won't care to read anyway.

So as it currently stands, I will need a reliable PHP-enabled web host to be able to offer you a Forum. And since I do not hope to see any of you to rent a paid hosting service for me as a Christmas gift, I guess it may take some time before the Forum can be reconstructed and even then, I can not guarantee for the stability of the new Forum - those free hosts aren't philanthropists but companies wanna make money, and I have no control over whatsoever they would like to do with their own properties when they think the way I utilize their free service is not going to profit them.

(Read into the full article...)

Indestruc2Tank

"Indestruc2Tank" is the sequel to "IndestructoTank", a term which in turn refers to "indestructible tank". Very innovative naming. I like it.

Xtreme Tanx Badge (medium – 15 points)
Complete "Enhanced" mode on "medium" difficulty.

Hacking this part can be hard, while playing through it is a cake, so help yourself by preserving the original fun of smashing and smoking aircrafts using your jumpy car. Just keep in mind that higher combos increase the experience points you'll get, and when leveling up, simply buy up from whichever type that has the lowest cost to maximize the density of enemy aircrafts.

Cliche Conquest Badge (medium – 15 points)
Follow the gripping tale of Dirk Danger through its completely unexpected ending.

True, you can launch your .sol Editor and check everything you need, unlocking the badge within seconds, but if that sounds too "radical" for you, just use it only when you've had enough with a certain level.

Rating



Nothing crap about this game, and nothing remarkable I could think of either.

(Read into the full article...)

Super Crazy Guitar Maniac Deluxe 2

"Super Crazy Guitar Maniac Deluxe 2"! W00t-h00t!

...What the fuck.

Band Camper Badge (easy – 5 points)
Rack up 10 awards points.

Rhythm game on keyboard is for pussies.

Garage Performer Badge (medium – 15 points)
Earn at least 1 perfect medal in an amateur track, and at least bronze on the others.

Wanna have some real "rhythm"? Find it on arcades or Wii. Or more simply: go join a band.

Guitar Champion Badge (hard – 30 points)
Earn at least 2 perfect pro medals, as well as at least bronze on the rest of "pro".

Anyone having the illusion of becoming a sUpeR CraZy GReAt gUiTAr pLayA after sitting in front of the computer screen for a few hours playing a "music game" should be subjecting to emergency psychological treatment immediately.

Super Crazy Guitar Maniac Badge (impossible – 60 points)
Earn 72 award points by completing every single track perfectly.

Oh yes, you want to know how to cheat for this one? Just watch this video:



[How to Kongregate] Super Crazy Guitar Maniac Deluxe 2 Perfect Stars with Cheat Engine

By the way, here is a primitive ActionScript 3 decompiler; find the link to the French blog with the download link of AbcDump.zip if you would like to omit all the technical details.

Rating



This game, or more generally this genre of games is very bad for certain computers that have limitations on the detection of simultaneous key pressing signals; for instance on my notebook it can only accept two keys at once, and if I press three keys at the same time, one of them will not be able to be detected. One of the big reasons rhythm games should disappear from the computers.

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Portal: The Flash Version

"Portal: The Flash Version" is a ripoff of Valve Corporation's latest hit, the highly praised title of "Portal". Not saying it's a cheap ripoff, but it is nevertheless a ripoff, in spite of how successful the porting may look.

Cakewalk Badge (easy – 5 points)
Complete level 5 under "Kongregate badge mode".

Grow old or die trying.

Deceptive Dessert Badge (hard – 30 points)
Complete level 40 under "Kongregate badge mode".

You are encouraged to complete this game the solid way; it takes some hours, but the puzzles are really enjoyable. There are also already a full lot of walkthroughs available on YouTube, which should be able to help the dumbest dumbo ever to get through the series of tests, but in case your stupidity is beyond redemption, know that you can use .sol Editor to unlock all 40 levels, though you still need to complete level 40 independently from the level select screen to receive the badge.

Rating



I don't like big fat commercial companies, but the honor of this game definitely belongs to whichever smartass developers inside Valve Corporation who thought of this most brilliant idea to make puzzles so far in generations. Understand the rating and the recommendation is a tribute to the original game, not to the Flash version.


: Recommended

(Read into the full article...)

Anika's Odyssey

Quoting the introduction from the game creator directly, "'Anika's Odyssey' is a magical adventure deep into a lush and enchanted land. Break away from reality to enter a mystical world inspired by Aotearoa, New Zealand, as you meet the curious spirits and exotic creatures that inhabit this wondrous wilderness." Hmmm. I feel so sorry I can't seem to find any link between New Zealand and tropical rainforest or, big hairy primitive.

Anika's Delivery Service Badge (medium – 15 points)
Complete your journey and retrieve a pail of water.

You are recommended to read this walkthrough in case you are stuck and want helps.

Rating



This is certainly not a bad shit, but nowhere near an excellent shot either. I think it's being a little overpraised on Kongregate at this moment.

(Read into the full article...)