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Eraser of Evil Flight School Graduate Drone Warrior Combat Ready Legendary Ant Poisoner Reckless Ant Food Trained Difference Spotter Apocalyptic Missile Commander Protecterra Solving the Melody Feeling the Rhythm Sensing the Beat Causal Gamer Flux to Be You Teeter-Totter to the TARDIS Paradox Shmaradox Speed Razor Fulp Fiction Wool Whacker New Doeo King Profesioeo Rodoeo Spectral Selection You're Doing It Wrong Prismatic Rampage Up to 11 Keyboard Hero String Theorist First Picks Illuminator Alive Monsters Sensei Slayer Escape from White November To the Extreme! PC Load Letter Bloated Defense Budget Still Alive Title Trasher Snakes on a Trophy Action Potential Spherical Ninja Rollin' On Up Rolling Start S-Mart Shopper Real-World Geometry
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2008/05/11

Warlords: Call to Arms



When I first loaded up "Warlords: Call to Arms" in my browser, I thought it was from the same development team that created "Feudalism"; it turned out to be a wrong shot, but the striking resemblance - or shall I say the unbelievable similarity of the forms and factors of retardation within - just made such guess so genuinely true.

Field of Corpses Badge (easy – 5 points)
Score 100 kills during a single campaign.

I am never quite sure why shits like this that should go to sewage could constantly receive badges or highlights on Kongregate; maybe Kongregate likes shits, or maybe shits like Kongregate, I don't know. At any rate, I failed to spot anything about this game that could add the tiniest bit of positiveness to the brand that sponsors it. Intriguingly, the unreasonably high rating of the game on Kongregate seemingly suggests that Kongregate is being very successful in mustering an audience whose major portion is akin to Kongregate in terms of tastes about games.


Medieval Unity Badge (medium – 15 points)
Conquer all 25 maps with any race.

The only thing good about this shit pile is that it offers a wide variety of methods including .sol editing and others for the players to dick their heads towards total dominations, but the simplest is no doubt through a universal Flash trainer that can also connect to the servers of Kongregate, namely Katana or Niflheim:




[How to Kongregate] A Niflheim Demo on Warlords: Call to Arms


Anger not those of you purists for whatever reasons that are right now reading this article, below is also a thorough walkthrough, definitely legit, that will aid you greatly in your endless pursuit of the most purest gameplay:

► Walkthrough

Rating



Even cruder than "Feudalism", this is a game for true cunts and purists.

3 comments:

GreenSkyProductions said...

I understand that as a reviewer your opinions are your own, but as a game reviewer myself, I'm here to call out your facts, namely the "fact" about the similarity between the units in Warlords and the units in Feudalism. In terms of size, sure they can be around the same size, but the way the units move, their move speed, how they attack and their appearance are absolutely different. If you can say that giant trolls are similar to armored humans or that a spearman mounted on a giant lizard in Warlords is the same as a unit mounted on a horse in Feudalism, then you probably didn't spend as much time to review as you give yourself credit for. By the way, I know you probably won't publish this comment so I will post my response to your review in a video if it is not.

"How to Kongregate" said...

This blog is not and never intended to be serious; it basically centers around me as a Flash game player. If I am hired to write these articles or trying to build the place up to be able to match somewhere like jayisgames and so on, the atmosphere would be much more businesslike and I'd not choose to focus on such a narrow audience of game hacking from the start. I am grateful that you were willing to make a suggestion though it's not something this blog would require for the time to come.

Anonymous said...

I completely agree that the game reeks of Feudalism. However, you seemed so busy getting your Tourette's on, that you seemed to miss pointing out the dumb-as-brick maneuver that will win everything: spam Halberdiers down a row. The fact that this works should be a massive insult on the game, in and of itself.