It's back... or more correctly, a new one has been made, at here.
The new Forum is backed up by a stable host this time hence you have my guarantee that the Forum won't be gone in another ten days and your posts won't get lost for a second time. It's still in its default appearance but I'll get it more stylized in the following days.
"Draw-Play 2" is the pathetic universal answer you'll likely be getting from most of the people on the question: "The worst goddamnfuck ever got featured on Kongregate?"
Preschool Artist Badge (medium – 15 points)
Complete every level on easy mode.
Go ahead and play it if you haven't; it's gonna grant you a hell lot of experiences. Give it a one-star rating by the way.
Rating
Fuck this game, fuck this badge and fuck whichever fucktard that said the fuck it's only of medium difficulty.
If you have yet to realize it, "MAD: Mutually Assured Destruction" is basically all but yet another "Missile Command". I am even going to bet it's "inspired" by this 2007 Xbox 360 version. Looks like a pretty crappy choice to seek inspirations from.
Y2K Relived Badge (easy – 5 points)
Relive the year 2000, when all our computers and laptops went haywire, launching nuclear missiles everywhere.
The fucka meant that you need 2000 points. Not a problem, but if you need to know, it's _root.score.
SAM Sharpshooter Badge (medium – 15 points)
Earn any medal in accuracy and combo.
You can hack _root.acc directly, but modifying both _root.acchits and _root.accshots is the recommended method. As for the combo, try _root.maxcombo.
Duck and Cover Badge (hard – 30 points)
Use the most effective means imaginable to protect yourself from an onslaught of missiles.
Katana is surely your most effective means imaginable. Use the universal trainer to hack the value of _root.encounters and you are done.
World Domination Badge (impossible – 60 points)
Show extreme skill in thwarting the attacks of your enemies.
These are all you'll be needing only: _root.deadeye, _root.kills, _root.freefallers, _root.resources.
Rating
This is a game for morons and makes you one among them if you weren't. Why the fuck sitting in front of the computer, staring at the screen with your mouth open like a drooling geek, clicking dumb missiles for hours? Hack it and have the job done and go get a damn life!
Hmmm. Red and white. Circles and strips. This picture really smells of Christmas if we take off some redundant words like the big one down the lower right corner that reads "Orbular". Calls back all the fucking awful memories.
Orbtacular Badge (hard – 30 points)
Reach level 15 in normal mode.
Easter egg of the weirdo.
No Orb Left Behind Badge (impossible – 60 points)
Reach level 15 in endurance mode.
Hey, how about beating this crap the hard way? No joking, that's how I earned the badge. Though a technique I later developed - which is especially useful against the _root.values anti-cheat countermeasures - can be used for this dirty fuckjob. It's all inside the following video, guess I am being your Santa Claus today:
[How to Kongregate] Orbular Walkthrough - Hacking Kongregate Badges Using Flash Katana 1.9
(Original video is here if you desire better resolution.)
This is probably the most powerful way existing at this moment to hack any Flash game on Kongregate, given that you know of the names of the variables you would like to hack. However, a Firefox extension in development called Muspell sounds like having even greater potential by condensing all the steps inside the video into a tiny browser addon, though when I tried to download the beta release, it has kinda disappeared or been taken off for the time being. Hopefully we will be able to learn more about this promising Muspell from NightEternal soon.
Rating
It's not really the problem of the game, but whomever created that badge having too much shit inside the head.
Something apparently went wrong with the ByetHost free space I registered for the Forum which has now gone - they've canceled my account for reasons unknown. Perhaps they stated they do not want to see their service being used for forums inside their Terms of Service, some fucking thing I won't care to read anyway.
So as it currently stands, I will need a reliable PHP-enabled web host to be able to offer you a Forum. And since I do not hope to see any of you to rent a paid hosting service for me as a Christmas gift, I guess it may take some time before the Forum can be reconstructed and even then, I can not guarantee for the stability of the new Forum - those free hosts aren't philanthropists but companies wanna make money, and I have no control over whatsoever they would like to do with their own properties when they think the way I utilize their free service is not going to profit them.
"Indestruc2Tank" is the sequel to "IndestructoTank", a term which in turn refers to "indestructible tank". Very innovative naming. I like it.
Xtreme Tanx Badge (medium – 15 points)
Complete "Enhanced" mode on "medium" difficulty.
Hacking this part can be hard, while playing through it is a cake, so help yourself by preserving the original fun of smashing and smoking aircrafts using your jumpy car. Just keep in mind that higher combos increase the experience points you'll get, and when leveling up, simply buy up from whichever type that has the lowest cost to maximize the density of enemy aircrafts.
Cliche Conquest Badge (medium – 15 points)
Follow the gripping tale of Dirk Danger through its completely unexpected ending.
True, you can launch your .sol Editor and check everything you need, unlocking the badge within seconds, but if that sounds too "radical" for you, just use it only when you've had enough with a certain level.
Rating
Nothing crap about this game, and nothing remarkable I could think of either.
"Super Crazy Guitar Maniac Deluxe 2"! W00t-h00t!
...What the fuck.
Band Camper Badge (easy – 5 points)
Rack up 10 awards points.
Rhythm game on keyboard is for pussies.
Garage Performer Badge (medium – 15 points)
Earn at least 1 perfect medal in an amateur track, and at least bronze on the others.
Wanna have some real "rhythm"? Find it on arcades or Wii. Or more simply: go join a band.
Guitar Champion Badge (hard – 30 points)
Earn at least 2 perfect pro medals, as well as at least bronze on the rest of "pro".
Anyone having the illusion of becoming a sUpeR CraZy GReAt gUiTAr pLayA after sitting in front of the computer screen for a few hours playing a "music game" should be subjecting to emergency psychological treatment immediately.
Super Crazy Guitar Maniac Badge (impossible – 60 points)
Earn 72 award points by completing every single track perfectly.
Oh yes, you want to know how to cheat for this one? Just watch this video:
[How to Kongregate] Super Crazy Guitar Maniac Deluxe 2 Perfect Stars with Cheat Engine
By the way, here is a primitive ActionScript 3 decompiler; find the link to the French blog with the download link of AbcDump.zip if you would like to omit all the technical details.
Rating
This game, or more generally this genre of games is very bad for certain computers that have limitations on the detection of simultaneous key pressing signals; for instance on my notebook it can only accept two keys at once, and if I press three keys at the same time, one of them will not be able to be detected. One of the big reasons rhythm games should disappear from the computers.
"Portal: The Flash Version" is a ripoff of Valve Corporation's latest hit, the highly praised title of "Portal". Not saying it's a cheap ripoff, but it is nevertheless a ripoff, in spite of how successful the porting may look.
Cakewalk Badge (easy – 5 points)
Complete level 5 under "Kongregate badge mode".
Grow old or die trying.
Deceptive Dessert Badge (hard – 30 points)
Complete level 40 under "Kongregate badge mode".
You are encouraged to complete this game the solid way; it takes some hours, but the puzzles are really enjoyable. There are also already a full lot of walkthroughs available on YouTube, which should be able to help the dumbest dumbo ever to get through the series of tests, but in case your stupidity is beyond redemption, know that you can use .sol Editor to unlock all 40 levels, though you still need to complete level 40 independently from the level select screen to receive the badge.
Rating
I don't like big fat commercial companies, but the honor of this game definitely belongs to whichever smartass developers inside Valve Corporation who thought of this most brilliant idea to make puzzles so far in generations. Understand the rating and the recommendation is a tribute to the original game, not to the Flash version.
: Recommended
Quoting the introduction from the game creator directly, "'Anika's Odyssey' is a magical adventure deep into a lush and enchanted land. Break away from reality to enter a mystical world inspired by Aotearoa, New Zealand, as you meet the curious spirits and exotic creatures that inhabit this wondrous wilderness." Hmmm. I feel so sorry I can't seem to find any link between New Zealand and tropical rainforest or, big hairy primitive.
Anika's Delivery Service Badge (medium – 15 points)
Complete your journey and retrieve a pail of water.
You are recommended to read this walkthrough in case you are stuck and want helps.
Rating
This is certainly not a bad shit, but nowhere near an excellent shot either. I think it's being a little overpraised on Kongregate at this moment.
Putting together a puzzle game is never an easy job; it's definitely more than simply coming up with a set of rules and a collection of levels. "Hexiom" is just one of the newest pieces in the genre that is worthy of the attentions of you developers out there - to study on how to avoid turning a promising puzzler at start into a terrible ass in the end.
Six-Sided Student Badge (easy – 5 points)
Complete any 10 levels.
I am offering solutions for all the 40 levels; note that these solutions are not unique, that some levels can be completed in multiple ways, which is one of the reasons I won't say this game is an utter crap - multiple solution is always a positive feature for puzzlers.
► Level 1 ~ 10
Done in 60 Seconds Badge (medium – 15 points)
Complete a size 3 random puzzle in 1 minute or less.
► Level 11 ~ 20
Geometric Mastery Badge (hard – 30 points)
Complete all 40 levels and complete a random level of size 4 in 3 minutes or less.
► Level 21 ~ 30
Hexiompossible Badge (impossible – 60 points)
Complete a random puzzle of size 6 in 3 minutes or less.
► Level 31 ~ 40
As for the random puzzles, watch the following video:
[How to Kongregate] Hexiom Size 6 Random Puzzle - How to Beat It
Rating
You might feel excited when you first started the game, but you definitely won't feel so when you've finally reached the last level. Making puzzles harder by expanding the size is never a wise thing for any game developers to do. Add in more new elements is the answer. One of the best, and perhaps simply, the best, puzzler I have ever had in my lifetime is the Chromatron series, which can serve as just the finest attestment to my words.
