Great! It seems that with our recent vigorous propaganda, we are starting to draw some attentions, mostly pissed. So here comes a place to centralize all your curses instead letting them scattering across several posts.
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"The Flash gaming community nowadays has fallen into a perilous fetishism. Many people have come to believe one must plays a game with utmost respects and 'purity of methods', despite the game being an awful pile of shit. That is why this little shelter was established, in preparation for the total desertion of the repressive and irrational fetishism that is destined to come in the very near future. By being here with us the enlightened, you will rediscover your own freedom once again, regaining your ability to praise and appreciate true masterpieces but criticize and trash those worthless craps trying to steal your precious time away from you without any misgiving. You are one that is unbounded and you are free to choose how you should enjoy a game, in a way that can entertain you to the most. How to Kongregate, you ask me? Cum one, cum all, Cumgregate."
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314 comments:
1 – 200 of 314 Newer› Newest»Ok I really don't want to be mean like this but I have to. Your blog sucks, Stop spamming COCAK, stop spamming Kongregate, your blog will never be as successful as COCAK with your attitude. Don't use a cheat engine you noob! Im reporting this Blog to Greg also.
That is all.
What's good about this blog is that I am the sole writer and I need not to run against some other dumb idiotic teenage self-nominated "editors" to see who'll be the first one to publish a review or walkthrough. Go back to COCAK and play with your own pride, thirteen-year-old.
You don't even know how to make the top image to work. And anonymous is for cowards. That's you.
Cheat engine? Noob.
Oh yes I am dumb. Why don't you enlighten me what freaking top image were you talking about? And I can't see any problem with the anonymity. Are you using your real photo as avatar and your real name internet ID? Of course not. So do I.
I have made a little research and found the obvious answer to your problems, jerks. All COCAK contributors, excluding Greg and those who did not make this part of information public in their Kongregate profiles, are teenagers. Furthermore, except Cmurda and FRAGM3NT, you all are loafing idle damn kids under fifteen! This explains everything. Only jobless kids of this age will waste days into a single crap and call those who don't noobs. Go name people dicks or noobs now however you will enjoy, children. You'll know you were such a fucking dumbass when you've grown up.
Nice, I was speaking to a cat.
It's the internet, kid. Cats do talk here.
You use a cheat engine because you SUCK at every game on Kongregate. Everybody on Cocak is younger then you BUT we are A LOT better at what we do. Just because you SUCK at life doesn't mean you can cheat. If you want to cry about your problems go on live journal you emo noob!
Thanks for your constructive suggestion, lad. Perhaps COCAK will be willing to have an interview with me so I can share with you all my sucky problems? If not then how about go fuck with yourself and let me continue to fuck the world from this tiny shelter of mine, you cock?
This is quite a little blog you've set up. People kept sending it to me, so I figured I'd finally check it out.
I have to admit that I'm a little excited. Blogs like this are a milestone for Kongregate's popularity. If you didn't do it, someone else would have. And more clones of this blog will continue to sprout up, if we're successful. I was hoping we'd get an article on Encyclopedia Dramatica by now, but I guess this blog works as a pretty decent substitute. I liked your Gamma Bros. walkthrough in particular.
To those demanding that I take action against this blog... well, first, it's the internet, and obviously we at Kongregate don't have any control over this. Second, thousands of people are being slaughtered in Darfur as we speak, so I wouldn't waste energy being really angry about a kid who's hacking Flash games to unlock little png images on a gaming website. Seriously, put that anger to a better cause. We expected blogs like this to pop up from the beginning, which is why we don't globally display who has what badges (our expectation is that users will only really care about badges that their friends have).
Your attacks against COCAK writers are amusing for a number of reasons. You mention their ages, yet if you're actually older than they are, don't you have better things to be doing with your time? The only thing sadder than a 13-year-old trolling with an emo blog is a 20-year-old trolling with an emo blog.
I'm just a kid too. I'm only 24, and I haven't even been out of college for 2 years yet. Let me share a little from what I've learned about the world, though.
Kids are told time and time again that if they study hard and do well in school, they'll be successful in life. No, I'm sorry, but there's more to it than that. The people who are successful are the people with passion, who go above and beyond to work with something they love. You list the ages of COCAK writers as if this is an insult. You reveal nothing more than your own ignorance about how our society works when you do this. The kinds of people who write for COCAK are the kinds of people who remind me of myself at 15, when I was completely obsessed with community stuff for another online community (darkwindonline.com). When I was 22 and interviewing for my job at Kongregate, I somehow found myself talking more about work I'd done when I was 15 than any kind of super education I'd received in college.
If a writer for COCAK decides to pursue a career in the videogame journalism industry or with writing official strategy guides for console games, I can almost guarantee you that he'll find himself in a similar situation: talking more about work done as a kid than about whatever you believe is the correct way to spend time in order to achieve success. You also might feel the urge to raise your fist in anger and shout "curses!" at the fact that every single COCAK writer I've spoken with seems to have a pretty normal social life as well.
Before starting Kongregate, Jim worked at Pogo.com: a monstrous online community run by EA. He made a comment in the office a while back that, despite Pogo's superior traffic, he never saw a fan blog for Pogo pop up with a level of quality on par with COCAK. In fact, all the employees at Kongregate are pretty surprised by COCAK's high level of quality.
You must agree that it's pretty good, too! Because if you truly believed that it sucked, you wouldn't waste your time attacking it.
I did not expect to see you come, but your earnest input is highly appreciated, Mr. Greg.
I shall put it as simple as this in response to your inquiry. The purpose of this blog is exclusively for entertainment - to both me and my readers - and no "work" element is ever involved. It's one of my relaxing options during my leisure and though I did invest some editorial efforts, they are never meant to be something more serious than a few laughters. As you may already noticed, this blog is flavored with a certain degree of profane and ridiculous languages; it is fully intentional and was done for the kind of entertaining effect one would be prohibited to do so in the real world by the social moral. Even though, the usage of swear words is controlled so they mainly fall upon the games, and it is not before VertFire of COCAK beginning his self-introduction here with person-specific insults that target-specific swearwords were began to be employed inside the comment section on the part of this blog as well. Again, what would be speedily halted in the real world was done and kept here for the entertaining value. It will be a gigantic topic trying to discuss whether one should still adhere every action of its own to the morality of the real world if such action only affects things on the internet exclusively, which we will not touch upon at this moment, but as you could see in the portrait section to the right part of this blog, I have simply assumed I need not to follow which inside the virtual world of this blog of my own, something will not yield you reliable results if you were trying to utilize whatever tiny part of information on this blog to try to deduce my real and whole personality as one functional individuality. On the contrary, you, Mr. Greg, and mayhap some of the COCAK editors are feeling obligated to do so, because you treat your internet identities as extensions or projections of your genuine selves (which I dare to presume is very true for Mr. Greg because of the official status of that internet identity of yours through an employment relation with an internet company), and that just has shown the basic difference between some of our notions. As the ending of this section of argument, I shall bring your attention to Mr. Adam Savage, whom most of you may come to know through his joyful performances inside the Discovery program "MythBusters". Little of you may know of his serious side outside of the camera.
Now the fundamental dissimilarity has been explained, you should understand by now that if one comes seeking solely to be entertained by me the author, one may; but if one comes seeking for serious works, one will most likely be displeased, because the author never intends to bring forth such. And if some persons that have yet to reach certain maturity of minds come in and start to accuse it sheerly due to they can not bear with the attitudes this blog stands for, chances are they will be displeased furthermore. The solution is quite surprisingly simple: stay if you feel positive or leave if negative feelings have take the hold in you. This is, however, sometimes a very hard thing to do for those younger minds.
What bothered vertfire and me (maybe too much) it's your advertising in our comments, posting a link to your site with a guide saying how to cheat/hack in a certain game. If you stop doing that, we'll (and your blog, of course) live peacefully, with no further agressive comments.
You may like to continue doing advertising though, but we'll love commenting in this post!
You are free to advertise COCAK here, though I would imagine there will be no such needs. I was considering adding crosslinks in my posts back to each respective COCAK article, but I doubt COCAK would appreciate this. Which leaves things exactly what they are right now, and I would doubt they will change in the near future.
Hi everybody it's FRAGM3NT, I'm not going to spam about anything in relation to grr this blog, because truly I don't mind it.
If you'd like to link to the articles in COCAK go ahead =]. I'd just appreciate respect of users that post in my blog, thats all. I don't mind if you bash the articles just not the writers please. Truly the bashing of the article may help us write better articles in the future.
Sorry about the yelling I get Very defensive when somebody bashes me or my associates(the other cocak writers)I would prefer if you didn't advertise in cocak if its in my guide I will delete it. But thats the internet for you, everything greg said is right, so I don't attack you if you don't attack us, if we follow this rule are blogs can exist in peace. So once again Im sorry and I hope that you can forgive my immature mistake
good luck with your blogging career.
Fair enough. I will add links to related articles in COCAK for every of my post just like how I do it in COCAK.
Guys, honestly. There is/was no reason for this to begin in the first place.
If he wants to advertise on our blog, so be it. We can either choose to let it stay, or simply delete it.
There is no need for a flame war between the 2 blogs, we both are geared toward Kongregate, and we both use different angles of attacks for games. Which, I think, is a good thing.
I see the How-To-Kongregate blog, not as competition, but as a fellow blog helping people who would rather play a game another way.
Both blogs are at fault here, and I see I just stepped in on what looks like, and hopefully is, the final comments about this.
Now, lets all just get along!
(Remember, his blog's way of gaming is not wrong, it is different, and nothing is wrong with a different style of gaming.)
spamming it in comments of games is kinda lame... especially when you make the site sound innocent. (which btw is why you're getting so many 'purists') I mean common making a hex-ed walkthrough is kinda flimsy, anyone intelligent enough to use a hex-ed should be able to do it themselves, and thus, no one will be looking for this site most likely except those who are looking for normal walkthroughs. :\
but most importantly: LOL HAHAHAH U USE CE, LOL GET A REAL HEX EDITOR!
If you're going to start up a tip site for Kongregate, give real tips and hints, don't simply tell people to cheat to get badges.
I support COCAK because they give people real advice on how to get badges, rather then telling them to cheat.
oh and also, since this is the only comment section... do one for the DTD 1.5 badges :D
@"nice site but...": I am using HxD myself on occasions but Cheat Engine is what I chose to settle upon for this blog since I've decided to "share some of my thoughts about these games" with others; a tool of "average level" would seem to fit best with the majority of the readers.
And yes, I've discovered a trick to get the impossible badge of DTD 1.5. Perhaps later I'll share it when I've got the time.
A point that hasn't really been brought up is that this site is a decent resource for Flash developers to get ideas on how to make their games more secure. I think security is one of the last things that come to mind for most Flash game developers, but it really should be something built into any game that implements Kongregate's API. In my experience in the game industry, you can't always beat the cheaters, but you can learn from them.
Good point, BenV... Also, thanks to 'How To Kongregate' for making an awesome video walkthrough of POD. I was going to get around to that someday, but since you did such a good job...
This blog is different...
I think it's a great joke. I really thank gerg for what he posted, and your reply was fairly mature as well. As a joke, this thing rules. If it's anywhere near serious, it's shameful.
@BenV:
I am flattered; you valued this blog too high. What this blog have detailed so far - and will likely remain so in the feature - are all very amateur techniques and literally nothing comparing with those "serious hacks". If there are developers interested in learning to protect their creations, I'd recommend them to start the journey from Cheat Engine's forum, to get an idea on the range of tools and methods that have been developed and utilized so far.
@Ben C:
I'm not the creator of that video; videos created by me will be embedded inside my posts while those aren't, will be introduced via external links. So far I have only one for rotaZion, but more are surely coming.
@smigbob:
It's up to the people, really. Some took it serious and came initiating a flame war. Some have found laughters in the ridicules here and kept returning. I'd prefer if all my readers in the end do not belong to the former.
I recently started Kongregate again after a few months, and came across your blog.
Me, being a "hacker" myself, thought it was great to finally see some communities come up revolving around this issue in Kongregate.
Therefore, I was wondering whether you would like any help with writing guides for the blog. I am experienced in Cheat Engine, among other programs, and have ran sites such as these myself in the past.
Although I've never created tutorials specifically for Flash Games, I have written tutorials for Javascript Injection, Cheat Engine, WPE Pro, and many others.
If you would like more information, simply post here, and I'll be able to supply you with an email address you could contact me with.
Nope.
This blog started out of personal enjoyment and will remain so in the future. It shares some basic cheating ideas that can be accomplished by average players and will never go into "professional" or focusing on "pure hacking" like those more aggressive methods you've mentioned. My main aim here is to modify those badge challenges with demanding conditions into something easy and fun, not trying to cheat a way for some database values; in some cases I was forced to present more direct hackings toward the game goal - like the Red one - but that was because it would be otherwise too complicated for normal people.
Sorry if this answer does not meet your anticipation, but you probably mistook the goal of this blog.
Ah yes, now that I've read some of your tutorials I realize that I did in fact have it wrong.
At the time of me posting that comment, I had only read two or three tutorials, and had not yet made light of the main idea.
Who knows, maybe I'll start my own blog :)
Nice comment Greg. Personally, I think How To Kongregate is kind of acting like a pest, and pretty immaturly. Sure, you used all those nice, big words to Greg, but the point is, unless we bother to read that, and even if we do, it still looks like a guy cursing out every game, kongregate, COCAK, and COCAKs writers. Personally, I don't want traffic from your site or for you to keep advertising on our site.
About you getting stuff up first, sure, you do get it up first, but, uh.... Lets see..., All you do is post "use a CE" and a picture. We actaully WRITE our guides.
If people like you are going to flame my site just because of me promoting something you do not wish to see, regardless of how I advertise it, surely I will choose the most efficient way to make my site famous, not caring how ugly the method would be looked like - to you "purists" that won't vary much impression and to others they simply won't care much about that.
Still just misusing big words. I didn't flame your site, I was talking about YOU. Not your site. Which is rather annoying, but we can hardly stop it. And it was not a flame, it was a statement of fact, besides the pest thing.
Also, you do realize advertisment without consent on other sites is illegal and pretty annoying, right? It isn't me being a "purist" it is just you leeching off of our traffic. The relationship is basically the same as if somebody went up and spraypanted "BOB'S USED CAR DEALERSHIP" on every car in a Toyota car lot. Annoying, leeching off of the bigger groups traffic, and illegal.
Laughed my fat arse off, kid. Do you know that something as hated as e-mail spamming is generally legal in the United States? Not to mention my "ads" are all, in essence, manually input comments. That kind of threats may work against those of the same age around you, but not here. What I did were some annoying craps, yes, but that's all you can say. Now how about you taking some royal advice? ¿Por qué no te callas?
@Zapatero lol. Wait... you speak spanish?
No, but everyone knows what the most famous Spanish quote these few days means in English.
so if i have a walkthrough about how to cheat papa's pizzeria with sol editor can i post it or do i have to wait you until you have time to post it on the blog?
It eventually will have its own post so it is better if you wait until then, otherwise your comment will become lost in some hardly noticeable place.
Hey, I am trying to figure out how to add more security to my game, but I can't figure out how to attach cheat engine to Firefox, nor do I know which specific process is the Flash Player.
Meaning I really can't do anything. I'm a total n00b, and sorry about the double comment.
There is a file called "Cheat Engine tutorial" inside your Cheat Engine directory, which contains some helpful guides. As for attaching, once you've opened Cheat Engine you should see a blinking icon, and I think that's just more than obvious.
By the way, this video also may help.
So far this site is great!
Although I am not using the cheats posted here myself, as I am using my own, I still come to read the amusing guides you write. Your casual use of Satire, and the way that you accept people's criticism, despite how negative it is against the site, really shows that you enjoy what you do, and don't care who knows it.
One thing I would love to see however, is a forum in which other players could share guides of their own.
In addition, I have one small personal request. This is, that if you have one, that I am given your MSN address. This is because, although I may be wrong, from reading your articles, I have come to believe that you are very similar to myself, and as such, we may be able to teach each other a few things, or may just enjoy playing online games, etc together.
Thanks,
Shanethe13
Forum is a good idea, easier to view than these comments, I agree. If anyone wants to contact me, feel free to do so via e-mail.
http://cocak.blogspot.com/2007/12/card-challenge-hexagonal-hexcellence.html
lol my ass out! cocak hates howto for cheating and saing they are pure....... but this guide proves they promote cheating too - but only very noobcheating which doesnt require any knowlegde, so they just hate how to for doing better what they suck at lmao
We all know COCAK are full of pussy writers and Focus is among one of 'em. That's also why you no longer see any COCAK interlinks being served on this site.
i dont really care i use cocak and how to kongregate. which ever is easier. no one gives a shit about anybodies feelings. we just need help on games. not goddamn beef between bloggers
Anonymous: +1.
Honestly, I always wanted to say sorry about my previous behaviour. Cocak and Htk are both blogs, both help people on Kongregate, both in different ways to do it.
No idea if you'll ever read this, I hope you do.
Good luck with the new direction your blog will take.
~F
Ah, to the other anonymous, who says I cheated in Hexiom. "Cheat Engine" sounds cheating to you? Well. Opening "Two browsers" sounds cheating to you? It doesn't sound to me.
Opening two browsers technically is cheating, while it may not be hacking. Anon was not bashing you for hacking, it was for cheating. Several times you have bashed this site for cheating, but you did not say hacking. You said cheating.
I have got to say, reading the past topic, i really think people will start getting that there is no way to stop people from playing a game all the way through or skipping the first 49 levels while adding in 3x the stuff you would usually get by doing the first 49 levels.
I do all my badges the *pure* way, but love to see how easily they could have been accomplished using Niflheim, Cheat Engine, and Col Editor. I am also a teenager, only 16, and i probably will end up at video game testing facility or developing because i have a passion for it.
I also like to see sites like this as it shows Kongregate isn't one of those "back road" sites where you won't find it unless some1 you know tells you about it.Keep up the good work Cocak and HTK, its being appreciated and is being read, no matter what the opposing site says. :)
Well it's quite simple. If a game sucks big ass no one could stop people from googling for an easier and faster solution; if a game's purely so awesome, you just know for yourself this is the game you would want to really have a thorough experience with.
I am not blindly anti-teens, but some individuals of this age tend to have the kind of ideas like "if people are doing something ethically incorrect according to my own ideology then I am going to correct you all the way". Good for those COCAK writers they gradually have become more mature on this.
Honestly, I'm not sure what is sadder... the incoherent babble that goes on throughout this entire page, or the fact that I actually just read it all.... LOL the things we do when bored :S
Wow i just read the whole thing now my eyes hurt and i am going to go to bed.
This whole page is pretty much a garbage dump for those unsatisfied... You're not recommended to read it if you do not wish to have your mentality deteriorated.
hey can someone post a link for firefox/muspell and niflheim? i cant find it anywhere
I still had Muspell bookmarked, although I can't remember where I grabbed it.
Muspell:
http://lemuria.awardspace.com/muspell.html
hey this is freak11magic from kongregate. im fine with this blog, but i dont cheat because if i did i'd spend my time cheating instead of playing flash *games*. just sayin g.
how2k likes to fuck COCAK
coz hes a male gay
I just saw someone crash and burn. On a blog. If this weren't a blog, I would have it on video.(@ botter)
Old blog is old. Also, stupid kids. Also, you all suck.
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