"The Flash gaming community nowadays has fallen into a perilous fetishism. Many people have come to believe one must plays a game with utmost respects and 'purity of methods', despite the game being an awful pile of shit. That is why this little shelter was established, in preparation for the total desertion of the repressive and irrational fetishism that is destined to come in the very near future. By being here with us the enlightened, you will rediscover your own freedom once again, regaining your ability to praise and appreciate true masterpieces but criticize and trash those worthless craps trying to steal your precious time away from you without any misgiving. You are one that is unbounded and you are free to choose how you should enjoy a game, in a way that can entertain you to the most. How to Kongregate, you ask me? Cum one, cum all, Cumgregate."
Warning - this game is enchanted! You will hardly be able to resist the temptation of just one more try with "Dolphin Olympics 2" before you get to have your dinner served!
Shark Jumper Badge (medium – 15 points) Leap through the sky and travel 100 meters horizontally.
Imagine you are a happy dolphin.
Super Dolphin Cannonball Badge (hard – 30 points) Load up the timed mode (not Free Swim) and perform the ultimate bellyflop.
Imagine you are a very happy dolphin.
Fish Thankfullness Badge (impossible – 60 points) Visit the Restaurant at the End of the Universe on timed mode (not Free Swim).
Imagine you are a really very happy dolphin... Now squeak!
...Okay, I know. You want some real tips.
This restaurant challenge can be a nightmare for game cheaters; it has nothing to do with .sol files, the game codes have been obfuscated by some commercial software, and the author has likely implemented both the _root.values method and string/array method under the obfuscation to keep people away from meddling with his game. Some crazy anti-cheating countermeasures are going on inside this little but fine game, and I have to declare it here I've yet to find any possible avenue to break apart the integrity of the codes.
End of the story?
Of course not. You can't stop people if they want to.
Time to think out of the box - you don't always need to modify the game to make it easier. I used a simple trick that during my 4 test runs with it, all of them have successfully brought me up above Pluto, with 2 of which further beyond the Restaurant; the decision point for the success has actually come to lie on whether I have given up the starslides at the right spot, since a tailslide preceded by a fall from Neptune is necessary for the dinner; the 2 failures in my test runs were because I accidentally picking up starslides further from Saturn and couldn't stop in Neptune within time for a final fall back to the ocean - can't get to the Restaurant under this scenario even if I have picked up the starslides above Pluto.
I've got a nice video tutorial for anyone who wants to visit the Restaurant, basing on my best test run among the 4; it's all clean-and-clear for all of you purists out there to watch as well, believe it:
"So what's the trick you were talking about? I can't see the fuck of it anywhere! I am an angry idiot now! Grrrrrgh!!"
Shut up you idiot. The trick is already very obvious - I was able to pick up with any starslide I encountered and had ease with the seabed when I was re-entering the ocean from Neptune. Something very hard to do with your normal reflexes.
Still can't figure it out? Perhaps we'll continue inside the comments. Blame the idiota last week who called me a fame-seeking cretin for this.
"Max Mesiria Chp2 RPG" is, simply, a marvel - from what have been revealed so far by Snails Animation on the Mesiria series, it looks like something very promising and can easily rival - or even surpass - some of the most highly acclaimed RPG titles of all time on SNES!
Ghost Breaker Badge (medium – 15 points) Complete the second part of Gustave's adventure.
In this second chapter of the journey of Gustave, he can reach level 15 at most; depending on your playing style, you can either choose to rack him up a bit or rely more on the items. Follow the story and you should do fine, though if you are stuck in anywhere, you can always press Enter and view the "Hint" section.
And that's all I'm going to say about the main plot - I am a hardcore and have a very strict guideline on spoilers for myself. This is really a good game and deserves to be played through, not just walked through in an absence of mind.
Ultimate Monster Slayer Badge (impossible – 60 points) Exert your dominance over 51 waves of evil creatures to complete Battle Mode.
"Battle Mode."
The two words that can squeeze sweat out of the most experienced batch of players.
People used to argue over which game has the hardest impossible badge, "Orbular" or "Streamline". But now it seems that the answer has been undisputedly settled upon this one.
Since it has been rather clear that luck plays a prominent role to your success over the Battle Mode, there can be no possible rigid walkthrough which gives you a full guarantee for beating it. I can hence only show you a collection of the most useful resources which may help you completing this challenge.
Battle Guide
The most detailed, and also the most useful guide on the Battle Mode available so far is the one written down by x1372 inside Kongregate's forum. In case the post has been lost, a copy can be found in here. This guide offers a whole lot of greatly optimized tactics and is basically a necessity for every Battle Mode challenger. Though like I said, depending on your luck, you may find things being either easier or harder than described by this guide, and you will want to make some minor adjustments to have it fit into your very own condition.
Battle Sequence
Below is a sequential list on what you can expect to encounter inside the Battle Mode:
Here is the .sol file that contains the complete bestiary. Download and put it into the LSO directory of the game and you can read it from the Battle Mode screen; it's not the same with the bestiary you can view inside the main game. Or you can view it below:
Righto, what about cheats? Many of you probably be in here for this specific reason.
Aside from those two anti-cheat countermeasures we have introduced a few days ago, a third method which is popular among certain developers is to implement _root.values. This is a bad practice, from the perspective of coding, yet for some curious reasons, Cheat Engine is having problems scanning for any _root.values, and some game coders have been using this fact against Cheat Engine users. Which is exactly the method this game is using and also why you are seeing almost no people hacking it on Kongregate - because they are not able to. Though this is of course not the end of the story:
The full video lasting 12 minutes can be downloaded here; these are all you will be getting from me on how to cheat inside the Battle Mode. No, it's not Cheat Engine, but you will have to discover how on yourself. The game has my respect already so you will not be learning that from me.
Rating
Your eyes are not having problems, it's real freaking six stars. This can't even explain how good it is, and how one would know when it's the next time we can see such a wonderful RPG title on the Flash platform that could match the Mesiria series.
As an extra, here is why I said it is rather lame for any Flash game that fails to feature any music. If you were having a sense of déjà vu when you were loading up "Bot Arena 3", that's actually not some illusion but good memory - the music in the main menu of "Bot Arena 3" is the same with the music of the final boss in the main plot of "Max Mesiria Chp2 RPG":
And their respective developers happened to pick up and implement the same music - which is free. So now you see why those soundless games are lame, when there are so many free resources to choose from.
We'll end this article with my favorite musical pieces that have appeared inside the Mesiria series so far:
Being a damn RPG hardcore, I always believe that the Flash gaming community lacks the necessary environment to nurture some decent RPG creations; per se, lots of the game developers will want to have new projects being finished at most within a month to keep the cash flowing in continually from their sponsors, while most of the players being fuckingly immature teenage idle dickheads who do not appreciate any game that demands a few reading but only want to play something that can keep their fat juicy fingers busy on the mouse. It is hence a literal miracle, that heroes from Snails Animation have stood out now and been preparing to bring to us an epic tale, right beginning from its very first chapter - "Max Mesiria Chp1 RPG".
Boat Defender Badge (medium – 15 points) Guide Gustave through the beginning of his adventure.
Actually, the original title of the game seems to be "Mesiria" only, as indicated by both the website of Snails Animation and the title screen of the game itself; the "Max" part likely comes from a later request by the sponsor (Max Games).
To simply put, the first chapter of the Mesiria series is straightforward and simple - an outstanding way to both produce and introduce a pilot. As a player, all you need to do to proceed toward the end of this chapter is to follow the story itself, as in all RPG games; unless you are really an RPG n00b, this shouldn't even be a point. The level of your character, Gustave, will encounter a hard-capped maximum at level 5 for this first chapter, so don't even bother with racking up; I just had another run of the game before writing this article and I went on without opening all the treasure chests and facing the final boss at level 4, but still out winning, so don't refuse to play it for some stupid reasons like "I fear RPG blah-blah", it is a pretty nice teaser for any people.
Rating
And yes, because it's only a teaser for the upcoming series, there are some minor flaws like no saving system, but the second chapter has presented a completed interface already. In case you have some complaints about this initial installment, it is highly recommended that you should load up Chapter 2 and check out how things have been improved, and for a longer and deeper story to enjoy, continuing right from the end of Chapter 1.
I am not a fan of jmtb02, and I hate shooters a big time, but "Luminara" is a wonderful creation with these two elements that somehow pleased me thoroughly to my balls.
Cutting Through Confusion Badge (easy – 5 points) Orientation is the first step to mastering the destruction of colored lights. Start by scoring 20,000 points.
Okay, so some of the COCAK boys are seemingly ready for a second wave of flaming. While I don't recall being engaged into a walkthrough speedrun competition with them, I think something is worth of me reiterating over, that is I do shit upon games containing nothing more than trash but also praise those which I regard as masterpieces and treat them with respects. And it is so much of a good coincidence that I am about to introduce "Luminara" as the first pick into our Must-play game list.
Light Life Badge (hard – 30 points) Complete all 50 levels without losing a life.
You may try to theorize that I am a damn loser creating all these excuses after a COCAK member jumped out and condemned me in a holiness, but I will tell whomever that shit up something like that to go have a big fuck with your own tight ass with a portal gun - while the COCAK juvenile left his comment on 11/20, I already created a "pure" video guide for this planned article on 11/18:
Some juveniles are really an impulsive bunch, but unfortunately for them, this time they can't flame me for not playing according to their standards. Really, I do offer links to COCAK, but I don't read into them; if you don't like what I write in here, why the fuck do you keep checking back? Save some strength for yourself, stranger.
Rating
All in all, "Luminara" is a game worth some positive attentions. From graphics to musics to the progression of difficulty through the levels, "Luminara" is an excellent example among its genre - which is pathetically overrun by brainless wastes - and deserves being experienced by you. I'll save the rest for you to try it out yourself.
